Will Lana or Ruby Soho be the big surprise at AEW All Out’s Casino Battle Royale? More: Linda McMahon, Max Caster, Sasha Banks, and more wrestling news and hot gossip!
Greetings, comrades! It’s me, your The President, and for years I spent my time rounding up my political enemies and having them executed, but now instead I collect wrestling rumors from the web and bring them to you here in The People’s Dirt Sheet Rumor Roundup. And my friends, I can honestly say that the latter is more fulfilling… although I sometimes regret the tortured moans of dissidents emanating from my dungeon. Maybe I’ll ask my secret police to round up some of the people who have complained about my posts on Twitter. Hahahahahahahahah!
Ospreay rumors confirmed that he has tested positive for COVID-19, which will keep him out of action for at least ten days. “I am fully vaccinated. Everything will be fine,” Ospreay said in a video. I wish you a quick and uncomplicated recovery, comrade.
In related news, Pac vs. Andrade El Idolo will no longer take place at All Out, AEW announced. Andrade posted on Twitter that it’s Pac who can’t make the game. And according to Wrestling Observer Radio’s Dave meltzer, the reason why Pac can’t be there is the same as the reason Sasha Banks has been out of WWE for several weeks. Meltzer didn’t say what it was, but Banks is a purported anti-vaccine, so draw your own conclusions, folks.
According to Combative selection, WWE anticipates that next year’s WrestleMania in Dallas will again take place over two nights instead of one. This is great news for WWE, which will be able to sell twice as many tickets, but bad news for portable urine bag manufacturers, whose sales will suffer.
Speaking of the pitfalls of capitalism, comrades, Linda mcmahon was appointed chair of the Center for the American Worker by the MAGA think tank she also chairs, the America First Policy Institute, as part of a program (which turned out to be a success) to convince the wrestling news aggregation websites to blindly post links to their anti-union and anti-worker manifesto without control and without context. President of AFPI Brooke Rollin said, “There is no advocate or stronger voice for American workers and their employers than Linda McMahon, an entrepreneur who helped transform a small two-person company into a publicly traded global company that employs hundreds.”
To celebrate the news, WWE prepared to fire two dozen other “independent contractors” and continued to exploit the rest of them. No seriously. At Radio wrestling observerDave Meltzer reported that more cuts may be coming to NXT and that he has personally heard from several longtime NXT roster members on the chopping block. I withdraw my withdrawal.
In other NXT news, WWE has would have shut down its WWE Japan division, ending NXT’s long-standing expansion in the country once and for all. And in further rumors about NXT’s takeover by Bruce pritchard and Vince mcmahon, a legitimate source of wrestling news online, the WrestleTalk Twitter account said that Triple H and his cronies will continue to run the day-to-day operations of NXT:
Of course, that’s what Vince has said in the past about Raw and Smackdown, bringing in “creative directors”, making the “universe” “in authority”, or whatever. it is other. The point is, and I say this dictator to another, sometimes you need some scapegoats to take the blame when things go wrong, and if Triple H, Shawn michaels, Billy regal, and the Dogg Road are fired, comrades, so Pritchard knows he’ll be the one to bear the blame. I can’t have this, so he’ll make sure the others live to fight another day. The bottom line is that, for now, the NXT script will now be ripped and rewritten at least three times before each recording, buddy, and someone is going to be involved in a cuckold angle, damn it!
Speaking of cuckold angles, CJ Perry, formerly known as Lana, teased a possible appearance on AEW All Out over the weekend, posting on Instagram, “90 days is over.…. You know what that means ????” Perry’s husband Miro will defend his TNT championship against Eddie Kingston at the show, and Miro mentioned his wife in a promo just last week. Could she come forward to get involved in this match?
Another possibility is that Perry could participate in the Women’s Casino Battle Royale match at All Out, since Tony Khan just promised on a conference call with the media at least one more surprise for this game. Sure, Ruby soho, formerly Riott, was also released at the same time as Perry, so her 90-day non-compete clause would also be in effect just in time. Soho has been said to be heading to AEW before, and many fans were already expecting her to make her TV return during this game.
Speaking of returns, Maximum launcher will return to AEW in the next episode of AEW Dark, recording spoilers reveal. Caster has not been seen on AEW since he mocked the rape allegations of Simone Biles and Duke’s lacrosse team during his entryway rap in early August. Tony Khan took responsibility for spreading the rap by pretending to be out of the room while the segment was being edited. During the recording, Caster came to the aid of his team partner Anthony Bowens, dragging Khan, who had cuffed himself to Caster’s wrist and was staring sternly at him the entire time.
And that’s all for today, comrades! Your El Presidency will be back tomorrow for more wrestling news and gossip in The People’s Dirt Sheet Rumor Roundup. Until then, don’t forget: socialism or death!